


journey to the past

by Sumi



Category: Horizon: Zero Dawn (Video Game)
Genre: Character Study, Gen, Post-Canon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-19
Updated: 2018-06-19
Packaged: 2019-05-17 12:06:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,142
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14831976
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sumi/pseuds/Sumi
Summary: After defeating HADES, Aloy is even more determined to find out as much as she can about Dr. Elisabet Sobeck.





	journey to the past

**Author's Note:**

  * For [prosodiical](https://archiveofourown.org/users/prosodiical/gifts).



Aloy’s trek back to the Sacred Land took a heavy toll on her psyche. For so long she had ached to be a part of the Nora and to be accepted by them, only to be shunned at every turn. Now they accepted Aloy with open arms, but only because of the perceived blessing that the All Mother had placed on her. It filled Aloy with a bitterness she had trouble ignoring.

Rost had always risen above such trivial things. He had followed all the rules, which Aloy could never understand. He had spent his entire life dedicated to the Nora; even after being shunned.

Aloy wanted to do the same, but in the past year much had changed. If Aloy were being honest with herself she wanted nothing to do with the false idea that she was the chosen one. It made the years of being ignored and treated as less than seem like nothing. Rost would insist it was just the way things were. The thing was Aloy wasn't Rost. She used to strive to be, but hadn’t since before Rost passed.

The day Aloy arrived the sun was just starting to rise. She took a moment to enjoy the splash of orange and yellow mixing in the sky before starting the long walk down the path that would take her to see Teersa. Aloy agreed to see Teersa first thing upon returning to the Sacred Land. It was the least Aloy could do for the woman who always stood firm in her decision for Aloy to be a part of the Nora.

Aloy felt more uncomfortable the closer she got. She always considered this place her home, but now the word no longer fit. The thoughts faded from Aloy’s mind when she heard her name being called in the distance. Running towards her was none other than Teb.

Images of the day Aloy first met Teb flashed through her mind. He was a good man, never looking at Aloy as if she were a blight brought against the Nora people. The change in atmosphere had no effect on Teb’s attitude towards Aloy. She was grateful Teb didn’t look at her as some blessed being given to the tribe by the All-Mother.

“Aloy, you’ve returned sooner than expected,” Teb said once he was within hearing range. He closed the distance between them, placing a hand on Aloy’s shoulder and giving it a firm squeeze. The comforting look in Teb’s eyes made Aloy almost feel at home. It was the same look he gave her after she saved him so mant years ago. “It’s good to have you back among us.”

Aloy gladly returned the gesture. “It took less time than I expected. How is everything here? The recovery looks like it’s going well.”

“Slow going, but it’s coming along. Everyone's been pitching in.”

The Nora were always a strong people. Despite Aloy's complicated feelings towards them, this fact continued to ring true. Back in Meridian, the people were also showing how strong they could be. Recovery efforts took longer in such a large city like Meridian. It would take weeks for them to make headway, even with Avad's diplomatic skills. Her thoughts drifting to Avad stopped Aloy temporarily in her tracks and remember the last time they spoke.

_Rumours were that there was an arranged marriage in the works. Being the curious person she was, Aloy inquired for more information. She assumed it was to be between herself and Avad, but a confirmation never hurt anyone._

_“Yes,” he confessed in that quiet, yet sure manner of his. “I wished to speak with you about it personally before you found out from other sources.”_

_Aloy sighed, a nervous expression appearing on her face. “I am flattered your council came up with such a match, but if it were asked of me, I would have to decline.”_

_Avad nodded, returning her smile with a similar one of his own. “I expected as much. I'll be sure to pass on your word of thanks.”_

_There were other things Aloy wanted to say, but when she opened her mouth nothing came out. Words never came easy for Aloy. She and Rost developed an unspoken language. Rarely were words needed to express something between them._

_Aloy spent her formative years on the outside looking in. She socialized more this year than she did in her first eighteen years of life. Vocalizing her thoughts and emotions still seemed so foreign. And if Aloy did, she spoke in a blunt and straight to the point manner._

_When Aloy finally gathered her bearings, she felt ready to speak, but Avad beat Aloy to it. “I hope you find what you're looking for, Aloy of the Nora.”_

_She understood the logic behind Avad's council's proposal. After having a big hand in saving Meridian, it made sense they would consider a marriage between Aloy and the Sun King. Marriage, however, was far off Aloy's radar. While Aloy was fond of Avad, the same could be said for all the friends she made in the past year. The ones who fought alongside Aloy and the ones who offered support in anyway they could._

_A tiny part of Aloy's mind did want to consider settling somewhere. Meridian felt like more of a home to Aloy than the Sacred Land ever did. Rost’s death cemented this feeling inside Aloy. If she ever settled somewhere, it would be Meridian. Perhaps with Avad._

Aloy and Teb began the walk to the elders after a few more back and forth exchanges. She shifted her bow to the other shoulder in order to relieve some of the strain it put on the already sore muscle. Aloy could do with some rest, but she needed to speak with Teersa at some point,. The one who should be the first to hear Aloy’s decision should be her. If Rost were alive, it would be him. A day didn't go by without Aloy wishing he still lived.

Aloy had decided on the way back to the Nora that her home would no longer be among them. The same went for Aloy’s seeker duties. Without Rost, the Sacred Land no longer felt like home. She felt like a stranger here; more now than when she was considered an outcast.

It wasn’t difficult to find Teresa. When Aloy spotted her, she said goodbye to Teb and began a short talk with Teersa. The talk with Teersa contained none of the _important_ things Aloy intended to tell her. Instead, Aloy just bid her goodnight and settled into  the first pallet she found. She needed to speak with Teersa again in the morning. The elder deserved that much.

Aloy felt herself drifting off a few minutes after laying her head on the pillow. The dreams started off unspecific, but then shifted towards Elisabet. After everything that happened with Hades, the woman was often on Aloy's conscious and unconscious mind. She couldn't stop thinking about her.

The desire to find more about Elisabet always existed within Aloy. Before Aloy even knew what she was - _who_ she was-, the question about who her mother was and what the life she lived always existed. Aloy woke up each morning, plagued by curiosity about her mother’s identity.

When the answers to those many questions started to get filled, Aloy expected the same the curiosity would only fade a certain extent. Learning the truth brought nothing but even more questions. Elisabet Sobeck was a mystery Aloy ached to solve. The woman was Aloy’s mother in every sense of the word, so it was natural Aloy wanted to know as much as she could.

Before coming back to the Sacred Land, Aloy spent some time visiting with Elizabet’s remains. The connection then grew to its strongest point. She yerned to learn more about one of the women responsible for her creation. The solution came to Aloy in a rush of emotions. Aloy gazed at Elisabet’s corpse, brushing a hand gently over the rusted over armour that covered her remains for the past few hundred years.

Aloy wondered what the her home land looked like back when Elisabet was growing up and how it looked the moment she took her last breath. If anyone would know, it would be Gaia. Since Hades, Gaia was in the process of restoring herself. Aloy wanted to probe Gaia for hours regarding every piece of information she held about Elisabet Sobeck. She’d have to wait until Gaia was functioning at a point where Aloy’s questions would have answers. However, it didn't mean there were other places Aloy couldn't look.

The afternoon approached by the time Aloy opened her eyes and felt rested enough to leave the pallet. She quickly dressed, smiling awkwardly at the Nora that greeted her. It didn't take long for Aloy to find Teersa. Beside her were the other elders, but gratefully Teersa stood and began walking towards Aloy.

“Aloy, thank the all mother you've returned in one piece!” Teersa exclaimed. She took one look at the expression on Aloy's face and softened her reaction. “What is it you need to tell me, child?”

Aloy huffed in amusement because, of course, Teersa saw right through the facade. The words tumble out all at once. Teersa somehow never once appeared confused by Aloy's words. She nodded along and appeared to understand everything.

Teersa smiled, eyes crinkling with amusement. “May the All Mother bless you on this journey and all your future journeys, Aloy. Perhaps you’ll consider stopping by from time to time.”

“I will,” Aloy responded and she meant it.

She left the Sacred Lands, deciding to speak with CYAN first. Aloy didn’t know where else to start in her goal to discover more about Elisabet. When they last spoke, CYAN admitted they knew very little about Elisabet Sobek. The AI once said Dr. Sobek’s reputation preceded her. Aloy didn’t fully understand the statement, but found herself abpt to agree with it anyway. It sounded like a good description for her mother. Everything surrounding them was thanks to Elisabet Sobek and her team.

Aloy tried and found a strider to override soon after bidding goodbye to Teersa. She climbed on the back and started down the path with a brisk run. The life of a nomad was now her own life. In the beginning, it was born out of necessity. Aloy needed to find out who was targeting her and why. Now it wasn’t the fate of the world, but Aloy had a need to find out everything she could about her mother. She hoped with GAIA recovering and CYAN active, the AI’s might have been able to communicate in ways Aloy couldn’t with them.

When the sun began to fade from the sky, Aloy stopped the machine. She started a fire in record time and quickly laid out a pallet. Earlier that evening, Aloy ate some of the rations she packed just before speaking with Teersa. Aloy closed her eyes, falling to sleep with a full belly and rested mind.

She woke up and mounted the strider when the glaring morning light could no longer be ignored. Aloy kept to the usual brisk pace she adopted after learning to comfortably ride the machines. The wind had a strong bite to it the farther Aloy traveled. Aloy tugged up the scarf as far as it could go, but it failed to make much of a difference.

Aloy was no stranger to the cold. She grew up during winters where the cold at times was near unbearable. It was the third or fourth time Aloy needed to travel this far north and the winters spent with Rost were nothing compared to the cold air seeping through even her thickest fur at the moment.

The last thing Aloy wanted to do was make out camp out here. If necessary, Aloy would do it without a second of hesitation. However, luck seemed to be on Aloy's side. She made it to Ourea’s retreat with little daylight to spare for the remainder of the day.

When Aloy finally made it inside, she felt a strong feeling of relief. For now, Aloy could temporarily avoid the cold. The walk to see CYAN was familiar enough. She didn't need to pause and try to figure out which way to go.

It had been couple months, but everything looked the same as she remembered. When Aloy first discovered CYAN, she didn't know what to think. Aloy hadn't yet learned about Elisabet and Gaia. To think how little Aloy once understood about the old ones and the machines. It was enough to make Aloy stop in her tracks just a few feet away from the slumbering CYAN; if machines could sleep that is.

“Hello, CYAN,” Aloy greeted.

After she spoke, the lights began rapidly flicker. Aloy's eyes watched the blue reflections from the lights dance around the room, illuminating it in an unexpectedly beautiful way.

“Greetings, Aloy. It has been quite sometime since we last spoke. Has there been anymore activity from Hades?”

She shook her head. “Not since the master override code was used.”

“I am pleased the shutdown of Hades was successful,” CYAN answered. “Is there something else you wish to discuss, Aloy? Based on your vitals and movements, it seems like you have something else on your mind.”

The question drew a snort of amusement from Aloy. CYAN was as perceptive as ever. It was a more human response than some of the actual people Aloy interacted with over the years. “Has GAIA attempted to make any contact with you?”

Aloy knew it was a longshot, but she held out hope the AI repaired itself to a decent percentage. She longed to speak with GAIA about memories it held of Elisabet. It was something Aloy couldn’t let go.

“There has been no attempted contact from the terraforming system you described to me weeks ago. If you like, I can attempt to initiate contact with them. It would actually be my pleasure to do so. I look forward to speaking to such an advanced artificial intelligence.”

“Do we humans not provide adequate conversation?” Aloy asked. It was a rare moment in which Aloy felt like making a joke.

“Quite the contrary, Aloy. I experience quite the amount stimulating conversation with you and the Banuk people.”

Apparently a sense of humor was something they didn't manage to give CYAN. Aloy sighed and shook her head. “It was a… nevermind, CYAN. Could you attempt to contact GAIA? Maybe there will be a response if you try.”

“I will, Aloy. It may take some time, however. Perhaps, you can take some time to visit Aratak. I think he will be pleased to see you.”

“Somehow, I don't think I'd be able to notice either way,” Aloy mused. “From what I can remember, Aratak doesn't have a large range of facial emotions.”

“I suspect it is his vocal tone that betrays the stoicism. It enables me an opportunity to detect what emotion Aratak perhaps may be feeling.”

She pulled the furs closer together in anticipation of going back out in the cold. “Good luck, CYAN.”

“I wish the same to you, Aloy.”

The next stop for Aloy was the main camp of the Banuk. She hadn't visited the tribe since just before heading to Meridian to help Avad against the Invaders. Aloy still held the belief that the Banuk were a strong people. One had to be when living in such a cold, unpredictable climate. While the path was familiar, it appeared to have snowed quite a bit recently. This caused Aloy to travel slower than she usually would, but eventually she made it to the camp.

A few greeted Aloy and some others seemed to not take notice of her presence at all. She quietly continued on her way until encountering Aratak in his usual spot in the camp. When he noticed Aloy there was a flicker of surprise on his face, but it was gone almost in an instant.

“Aloy,” he greeted in that usual gruff tone of his. “What brings you here?”

Aloy stifled a laugh. “Good to see you too, Aratak.”

He let out a grumble underneath his breath before speaking again. “Your arrival is unexpected, but not unwanted.” It was the closest Aloy was going to get to a friendly greeting. “You still haven't explained the reason for your visit.”

“I needed to speak with CYAN. It suggested I come by the camp while I waited for it.” Aloy saw no reason to lie about her reasons for coming to the camp. Aratak never lied to her so he deserved the same.

He nodded. “You're welcome to stay for as long as you need.”

Aloy learned over the past year that there truly was nothing wrong with hoping for the best. It was a stark difference from the attitude Aloy held as a child. If CYAN couldn't make contact, Aloy would simply wait and try again. In the meantime, there was Elisabet's journals; some of which were more than half recovered. She hated waiting, but Elisabet was worth the annoyance that came along with it.

She stopped to eat when her stomach made it known it desperately needed food. Aloy quickly fished some roasted turkey out of her bag and settled in front of one of the many roaring fires littering the camp. The heat coming off the flames warmed Aloy up in a matter of minutes.

It probably was a good idea to stop at the Banuk camp in the first place. Aloy’s supplies were getting low. She needed to stock up the majority of them. They'd been dwindling since Aloy went to speak with CYAN. Normally, Aloy planned ahead, but thoughts of Elisabet occupied the majority of her mind. It was impossible _not_ to think of Elisabet Sobek.

Aloy spent a total of three days at the Banuk camp. The morning she decided to begin the trek back to Ourea’s retreat the weather seemed to be working in Aloy's favour. There wasn't a snowflake in the air and the sun shone high in the sky. She distantly hoped it wasn't a calm before the storm situation.

The way to approach this was pragmatically. Aloy refused to let herself get to wrapped up in hoping for the best. GAIA completely destroyed itself twenty years ago. It would take time for the AI to be repaired. CYAN could always try again in the future.

Aloy approached the main room where CYAN’s consciousness was housed. She stopped just shy of the platform and shrugged off her pack. “Morning CYAN.”

“Good morning, Aloy. Though, I have never experienced such an event.”

“You're not missing much,” Aloy explained dryly. “Did your colleagues ever try to explain what one felt like?”

“They did not but if your so inclined, perhaps you could describe what the sun feels like, Aloy.”

She paused, trying to think of the best way to describe the phenomenon of a good morning. “I’ll have to get back to you on that. I don’t really have a way with words.”

“Understood. I will patiently wait for what I am sure will be an accurate and moving description.”

The statement caused the corner of Aloy’s mouth to quirk upwards. Some might even dare call it a smile. There was was more to smile about than their used to be. Aloy knew it had to be a very awkward one, but CYAN would be the last person to judge the awkwardness of someone’s smile. What she remained most concerned about was GAIA.

The question was on the tip of her tongue. Aloy had to ask it eventually. It was the reason why she came all the way back up here. Well, that and the stimulating conversation CYAN always managed to provide when she visited.

“Aloy, do you wish to ask me something?” CYAN asked, breaking Aloy out of her thoughts. “You appear to be preoccupied.”

She let out a huff of amusement. “Perceptive as always, CYAN. I was wondering if you made any progress in making contact with GAIA.”

“I have been unable to set up a means of communication, but I will continue to make attempts until contact is established.”

“Thank you, CYAN.”

Aloy settled into the far right corner of the room. She set her stuff down and turned her full attention onto CYAN. “So, any stories you want to share about you and your former colleagues?”

“Yes, plenty. Any subject you prefer?”

“Go ahead and surprise me.”

The more Aloy learned about the old ones, the more she wanted to know. Sylens may have planted the seed, but she didn’t hold as much anger as he did over the Apollo project being destroyed. Aloy retained some bitterness. She was able to make that admission to herself. However, she was trying to move past the fact that the Apollo project was long gone. Nothing would bring it back. Ted Faro had seen to that.

CYAN started discussing the national park Yellowstone, the land they occupied. Aloy listened intently. It seemed ridiculous people paid to view the outside. The concept was lost on Aloy who freely roamed the remade world before her without much thought. She wondered how badly the old ones damaged their home to have needed a designated area specifically built for viewing nature. The question could be asked to GAIA who had to have significant knowledge on these subjects.

After a few weeks, CYAN reported some success. When it first broke the news, Aloy froze. She hoped for contact to be made, but expected it would’ve taken longer. Soon Aloy might learn more about Elisabet’s life. Aloy wanted to know as much as she could from before the Faro plague started destroying the planet and during the creation of Horizon Zero Dawn.

“Would you like me to relay the message to you now, Aloy?” CYAN asked, once again breaking Aloy out of her thoughts. She had a bad habit of doing that lately.

“Ah, yes. Now would be fine, CYAN.”

The AI suddenly grew quiet. Aloy took notice of the lights flickering more intensely than they normally did. She waited for what seemed like hours, but in reality was only a few minutes. Finally the lights ceased their insistent flickering, indicating CYAN may have retrieved whatever message GAIA sent in response.

“The message reads: Communication received. Repairs still ongoing. Further communication to come.”

It wasn’t much, but the message caused Aloy to feel a sudden burst of elation. She didn’t care how long it took for the next one to arrive. Aloy knew the wait would be worth it.

“Have you sent a response yet, CYAN?”

“I have not. It seemed likely you wanted to help formulate a response so I decided it best to wait.”

Aloy wracked her brain for what she wanted to say. There were many things, of course, but she would keep it short and to the point this time around. “You can tell GAIA we’re eager for a response.”

“Why did you use the plural, Aloy?”

“I figured you might be interested in communicating with GAIA. It sounded like you did, anyway.”

For a moment, CYAN was dead silent. Aloy wondered if it had been rendered speechless. It was an artificial intelligence so it could be possible.

“I apologise for the long bout of silence, Aloy. I think I experienced what could be described as shock and excitement. The prospect of being able to communicate with another artificial intelligence is something I looked forward to one day.”

Aloy smirked. “Growing tired of talking to humans?”

“On the contrary, I find humans to be fascinating. This is especially true of the Banuk. I will always be impressed by how technology advanced they are, despite the very primitive conditions this part of Earth survives in.”

“Well, at the very least, you’ll have another chance to talk to someone of your same… species.” Aloy had made incredible friends since leaving the Nora. But, she always felt the stigma of her creation like a heavy weight upon her shoulders. It played in her decision to ultimately leave the Nora tribe.

“Aloy, are you all right? I detect sadness in your vocal tone.”

The comforting comment turned the small scowl on Aloy’s face into a small smile. “You’re getting really good at that emotional intelligence thing you told me about.”

In that conversation, CYAN played a recording that captured a conversation it shared with one of its former colleagues. The colleague complimented CYAN’s emotional growth, remarking on how much humanity the AI was able to show. Aloy thought it was honestly faniciasting.

“Thank you, Aloy.”

The AI truly was more human than some of the people Aloy met in her life. She thought this many times and considered it to be an important trait of CYAN’s. Whether the old ones who created it with this intention or not remained a mystery to never be solved.

Aloy stayed among the Banuk longer than she intended. There were plans to go to Meridian and visit with the friends she hadn’t seen for so long. Erend probably was still working for the Vanguard, making Ersa proud. She imagined Vanasha still lingered among Meridian. Unless, she’d left on another mission, one that took less than two years.

Then there was Avad, a confusing subject she would certainly need to address one day. The last they spoke was after Avad mentioned the suggested marriage between the two of them. Aloy held firm in her decision, but she also looked forward to seeing the Sun King, hopeful it wasn’t too awkward.

Before heading off to Meridan, Aloy paid one last visit to CYAN. Unlike her most recent journeys, a raging winter storm was starting to gain some traction. She bundled up in her thickest furs and reluctantly pushed through the thick snow and raging winds. Snow blew all around Aloy, which caused her vision to be rendered almost completely obscured. Aloy relied heavily on her focus to find the way to the retreat.

A few hours later Aloy’s efforts were rewarded when she finally reached her destination. She sighed, turning off the focus once inside Aloy hurried into the main chamber and was quick to start a fire before even thinking of striking a conversation with CYAN. Aloy fully accepted she’d never get used to the cold up here; no matter how much time she spent among the Banuk.

“Hello, Aloy. Is it a nice day?”

Aloy snorted. “It’s the farthest you can get a nice day, but I wanted to make one last visit before I leave for Meridian.”

“I am pleased to inform you I have good news regarding our attempts at communicating with GAIA. This is sure to have a positive effect as you make your way to Meridian in what you implied were terrible weather conditions.”

The news that GAIA responded to the second message they sent caused her to go into a state of shock again. Soon enough Aloy broke out of it enough to form a response. “What was the message?”

“Repairs at about currently 30%. Once I reach 50% instantaneous communication will be possible.”

Aloy sighed in relief. “Respond in any manner you see fit. I wouldn’t have been able to make contact with GAIA without your help.”

“I appreciate your thanks, Aloy. Will you be leaving now?”

“Not yet,” Aloy said. “I was thinking I’d stay a little while and try to describe how it feels for a human to walk through a blizzard.”

“I am able to calculate what the extreme cold physically does to the human body,  but discussing it with a living source will certainly help me improve my knowledge and fill whatever gaps may exist.”

“We’ll I’m happy to help.”

She lost track of the time spent talking some more with CYAN. After it felt like a significant amount of time passed, Aloy gathered her things and decided to leave. The snow storm died down some. It was best to leave now and attempt to get back to the Banuk camp _before_ it started up again. Weather up here was very unpredictable. Aloy knew it could start back up without any warning whatsoever.

Aloy left with a promise to see CYAN as soon as she was able. She was pleased that the storm didn’t reach the intensity it did before. One day was spent at the camp before Aloy made the long trip down the mountain and out of the Sacred Lands. Eventually, Aloy tracked down a Strider and overrode it. The machine was Aloy’s preferred choice to override. There was never any lack of Striders in the areas. Besides, Watchers that is.

The dry desert weather was a stark contrast to where Aloy grew up. She may dislike the intense cold, but preferred it to the hot, sticky temperature that seemed to grow the closer Aloy got to Meridian. In favor of staying cool during the day, she packed her warmer outfits away and settled for one that was thinner and helpful in keeping out of sight. The area was very sparse with few hiding places. Wearing something inconspicuous helped Aloy stay out of danger--- to a point.

It was dusk when Aloy arrived at Meridian. The guards glanced at her when she walked by, straightening just a bit after realizing it was Aloy. She sighed, not entirely comfortable with the fact that Meridian also viewed Aloy as a savior. However, Aloy didn’t feel bitterness like she did with the Nora who thought of her in a similar light. It was just… _uncomfortable._

Further into the city, Aloy ran into a familiar face. “Well, if it isn’t the little Huntress back in Meridian!” Vanasha said, punctuating the end of the sentence with a wink. “Talanah owes me a hundred shards! She thought you’d be gone another week, but it appears I was the one who predicted right.”

“Should I be happy I made you richer or guilty Talanah lost shards?” Aloy asked, half joking and half serious with the question posed to Vanasha.

She laughed. “Little Huntress it’s both, of course!”

Aloy shook her head. “I’ll see you tomorrow, Vanasha.”

“Good night, Aloy.”

They parted with another wink from Vanasha and a stifled laugh from Aloy. She walked the short distance to Olin’s apartment, shutting the door quietly behind her. The place acted as a temporary home for Aloy. Perhaps someday it would become a more permanent one.

Tomorrow, Aloy planned to speak with the rest of her friends to let them all know she was back while waiting for GAIA to once again contact CYAN. It was going to happen sooner or later. Aloy only hoped it was the latter because for nearly twenty years she waited to find out about her mother.

She didn’t want to wait anymore.


End file.
